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[Monday
February 6th, 2006
6:18am] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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music |
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Jamison Parker-Emergency Room Romantic |
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all righty!
so we've been hanging
around at the new house in Sharyland...
if you're in my area hit me up!
lol.
i get lonesome everynow and then.
oh..
if you want to know more about me
my myspace URL is:
http://www.myspace.com/beautiful_mistake1016
ok.
anywho..
yeah so it's been a hectict week and
my heart is just throbbing...
with joy.
i really don't have much to say..
just wanted to let you all
know that i'm doing good!
love,
Amanda
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| hello :] |
[Sunday
January 29th, 2006
7:28am] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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the early november-something that produces results...TSA too |
] |
well,
it's 1*27AM and i'm sitting here
listening to the format and the scene aesthetic.
today we went to go look for a house in McAllen.
we found it.
on harvey and 26th.
it's way out there.
it was super funny because we got there
and the house was super adorable...
like i actually liked it..and i'm
effing picky about all this stuff...
and my mom is like,
"wait...it's the one across the street!"
and we all turned like "ahhh...shit"
it's nice, but the landscaper needs to
come and fix the yard up.
it's 3 1/2 bedrooms...
meaning it's 3 bedroom and like
a maid size quarter.
2 bath.
the rooms are fairly large.
the backyard already has a dog house!
haha.
it's like perfect for us...
because like diana and liz
are starting at STC...
and diana is going to move out in July..
and i'm pretty sure liz will never be there.
aww...there was this adorable little
emo boy skateboarding
around the neighborhood..
he must have been atleast 12 or 13.
hah...we were all looking at him.
i guess this is somewhat a fresh start for me.
yup.
so tomorrow...
mom is going to make sure there is nothing
else out there that we have over looked..
or just haven't seen.
and if not we meet the lady at 10*00AM
to purchase and all the junk.
hmm....long days ahead.
saturday school...plus getting up extra early
to go to school on time and shit!
teehee.
mom said i won't move to Rowe till after
i get my credits back and stuff...
and that's another month...
and then i doubt she'll withdraw me from bobcats.
even though i wish she would..
i mean just to have a couple of days of.
haha.
yeah.
anywho,
well today i didnt do much besides that.
and deya went out with leo.
she hasn't called me back.
hopefully everything went well.
i'm going to call it a night and
do something productive like SLEEP!
:]
love you all lots!
take care!
[<3] Amanda
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[Wednesday
January 25th, 2006
4:44am] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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Jamison Parker-Emergency Room Romantic |
] |
i hate feeling like i have no control.
i hate being shoved in the dark.
in 2 weeks i'll be in McAllen :_[
i feel misunderstood.
i feel hurt.
and i wish i could scream...
but the wall i've built
just won't crumble.
crash into me
so i can breathe.
my heart is thumping...
i'm sure you can hear it!
the tears inside are
fighting to come out.
my heart tells me "no",
but everyinch of me tells me "do IT!"
why things are going wrong,
i just don't know anymore.
i wish i understood
the way ppl were.
i wish there wasn't so much hate.
i wish for better days.
but it's just another ugly day.
i lay in bed paralyzed.
thinking maybe if i just close
my eyes again...
i'll wake up and it'll just be a bad dream.
but to my surprise..
it's all there.
staring me in the face.
i tremble at the sight.
not knowing if tomorrow...
will be my last..
not knowing how i'm going to make it through the day.
i guess i finall understand
all my emo music..
and the live today like it's your last
theories.
when i wake up in the morning is it going to be another ugly day?
because from where i'm sitting...
these shoes aint fittin.
someone get me to the hospital...
i think my lungs are giving in!
i remind you of everything you hate,
and you remind me everything i am.
i'm fighting myself
to get you out of my head.
but i find my self at your knees.
and i wish you wouldn't see me this weak.
it's something you're not suppose to see.
i'm hanging by everyword you said!
i'm strangling!
cut the rope and set me free!
[Amanda]
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| errr.. |
[Monday
January 23rd, 2006
9:29pm] |
hey!
long time no write...
i've been preoccupied with my myspace!
lately i have been really confused.
this guy makes me upset,
but happy all in one!
i like bobcats,
except for the fact that
a girl wants to kick my ass...
hmph...oh well.
deya made me get on.
she is going out with some guy named leo.
he's pretty kewl.
christina is there.
i guess the drama
got laid to rest.
i'm still the same...
but even more lost and confused.
i feel misunderstood...
and there is really no where to turn.
i had getting up in the morning,
because i feel so useless.
my sisters liz and diana
both got their GED...
so it makes it difficult at time..
to want to go to school.
heather has the baby...she's so big now.
and i'm just here..
stuck in the middle.
trying to behave...
not yet succeeding,
in anything.
i'm fighting for attention over my bother
ryan, which may sound ridiculous,
but like...
i hate not having time with my mom..
i hate asking her for things.
i hate that i want to tell my friends things
but they're caught up with all this drama.
there's nothing really left to say.
goodbye!
<3Amanda
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| hola! |
[Thursday
September 29th, 2005
11:02pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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music |
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relient k- i so hate consequences |
] |
ok so i have decided to start fresh. i remember when i used to attend youth group every wed. man. i don't know what happened to me. i want it to be the way it used to be. i know it won't ever be the same, but i want to attempt it. if you were my friend in the past...you know what i'm talking about, but if your new, please let the past go. :[
_amanda
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[Thursday
August 25th, 2005
10:56am] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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Konstantine-SoCo |
] |
UHHH...i'm still waiting for my results!!! grr...today i did a lot of research and stuff...so i guess i'm prepared for whatever it is...even though if it's something bad i'm going to kick and scream and cry a whole lot! but that's all good...man...errrrgrrrrerrrgrrr. i want to go back to school already, i already had a summer...shit fuck shit! man...so this is what i've been doing...i sit on the computer listen to Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate and cry! and that's it! except today i'm pissed off because i want the doctor to call. i want to know what it is how i got it...what i need to do to get rid of it...do i need surgery and most of all can i go to school already!! i bet my teachers are like she doesn't care...she is a lazy a$$ but that's not it...i'm tired and anxious and i woke up with night sweats...and then when i was going to put make-up on i looked @ my face and it looks gross...it's all anerxic looking! baggy eyes...pale complection...prolly because i can't sleep at night! oh yeah i'm going to point that red dot on my leg out to the doctor because its a symptom and like he needs to that too. i dunno i love you all! ttyl...and post a comment telling me how school is going!
~Amanda XoxO I'm not your star
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[Wednesday
August 10th, 2005
6:22pm] |
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[Saturday
July 16th, 2005
6:53pm] |
hello....i;m bored...deya is sitting next to and ryan and me are cheek to cheek,,,like the song...lol. bye
!amanda
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| Watch the Sky |
[Thursday
July 14th, 2005
2:39pm] |
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mood |
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thankful |
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music |
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Watch the Sky-SoCo |
] |
Watch the Sky Lyrics
I'm lost at sea
The radio is jammed, I bet they won't find me
I swear it's for the best
And then your frequency is pulling me in closer till I'm home
And I've been up for days
I finally lost my mind, and then I lost my way
I'm blistered, but I'm better
And I'm home
I will grow
There's things that aren't worth giving up, I know
But I won't let this get me, I will fight
You live the life you're given with the storms outside
Some days all I do is watch the sky
This room's too small, it's only getting smaller
I'm against the wall, and slowly getting taller
Here in wonderland, this guilt feels so familiar
And I'm home
I will crawl
There's things that aren't worth giving up, I know
But I won't let this get me, I will fight
You live the life you're given with the storms outside
Some days all I do is watch the sky
Some days all I do is watch the sky
I think I...I could use a little break
Today was a good day
I think I...I could use a little break
But today was a good day
And it's a deep sea in which I'm floated
Still I sink to think that I must crawl
There's things that aren't worth giving up, I know
When you can't bare to carry me, I'll fight
You live the life you're given with the storms outside
And some days all I do is watch the sky
Today was a good day
Today was a good day
http://www.hxcmp3.com/download.php?band_id=16372&song_id=64372&mode=song_hifi
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| hahah yes |
[Monday
June 20th, 2005
3:03pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
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music |
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ur mom |
] |
ok well amanda i did this for you after u were bugging me.well didnt really do much..since this was pre-made.but o well.u know i had to look for it and all so thats something.alright well i know for a fact u dont like it as much:]but lifes tough wear a helmet..haha.ok well hope i can see u later[really doubt it] and if i go to the vfw.u wanna come with?how embarassing my mother but o well might as well go, huh!?ill even invite my cousins so it wont look that bad.:]k well g2g nigga u owe me big:]
love you so!
-deya
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| Plain |
[Monday
June 20th, 2005
12:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hyper |
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music |
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Hawthorne Heights |
] |
Gah! Today i hate my journal! I wanted Deyanira to make it nice and pretty, last night. We were on at like 1*30 and she was fixing hers...speaking of which i haven't checked out...i'm going to look at it right now and put it here (link it)http://www.livejournal.com/users/ultimate_wish/ and this one http://www.livejournal.com/users/whenwe_kissed/
They are super pretty. Anyways i got up at like 7*oo, because i was suppose to go to NB, but i didn't. And then i was suppose to walk Christina's dog with her, but the biotches never got up and i feel all groggy!!! And i'm coming down with a case of the cold buggies and stickie ickie ickie oowwiiee! Well, i have to go i'm going to call them and wake them up...it's already 12*12 they should be up...!
!Amanda (yes i know that's an exclamation mark&*)
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| ok i tried |
[Wednesday
May 25th, 2005
1:09pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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music |
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A perfect circle- the hollow |
] |
I tried to make it nice and bright, but that didn't work. I'll wait till after school to fix it. Speaking of which, tomorrow is the last day of schoold thank god! Anyway, well i gotta go!ttyl
~Amanda
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| Hey there |
[Wednesday
May 25th, 2005
12:42pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Relient K- Be my escape |
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Well this is my first entry ever...and this journal sucks cause i need to put color, but i have to ask Deya or Christina how to put that shit on. LOL! So, until i fix it i will write! Bye!
~Amanda
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